Yesterday was one of the hardest days of my life. Hopefully, most of us only have a few of these kinds of days in our lifetime. I was having to say, “I’ll be seeing you again some day” to someone I love very much. Someone who has taught me so much in life and has left a legacy of love in many forms. That is exactly what my granny gifted her family and friends with.

Sadly, my sweet granny left this earthly world suddenly last week and it has shook us all. She lived a life full of trying times, but somehow always fought through it all. I think we all convinced had ourselves she would never leave us, which made her passing that much harder to grasp. If I’m being totally honest with myself, it still doesn’t feel real to me.

I keep thinking I just had to deal with this really sad thing and I’ll be seeing her soon where she will proceed to make me feel better again. As we were about to lay her to rest yesterday, I saw gray hair out of the corner of my eye and without fail, I instinctively thought it was her. I almost turned around and said, “Here granny, come over here to sit by me.” I have never known a world without her in it. My mind is still automatically attuned to taking care of her. I stood there for a moment, having to snap myself back into reality. I was at her burial. She was only there in spirit. It’s clear I still haven’t come to terms with the fact my granny is gone. That I won’t see her again. That she won’t call me again. That I won’t get a big warm hug from her again.

Maybe that’s because I can still hear her contagious laughter in the next room? Maybe it’s because I can still see her smiling telling me everything is going to be alright? Maybe it’s because I can still feel her calming presence all around me? I think that is exactly what it is. She loved us all so fiercely that although her physical presence may be gone, her legacy never will be.

I can feel her with me. I can feel her joy, her love, her assurance. We all love like we do because of how much she always loved us. When I look at this picture of her with my brother and I as kids, it embodies everything we’ve ever felt being around her. She loved her family unconditionally, she had the most captivating laughter that would fill any room she was in, she made you feel safe, she made a point to travel with friends often, and she was heavily involved with her church. She will be remembered by many for the gracious impact she made on their lives and will be deeply missed by all who were blessed to know her. I can easily say that her family was the most blessed of all.

The legacy she leaves behind is one I am forever thankful for and will be passed on for generations. The gift of a love so big we will feel it in everything we do. A love that will never leave us. A love that will live on through us in more ways than one. Many times people get caught up in thinking you need to leave behind “gifts” in the form of material things or money. What we too often take for granted is the gift of legacy. This can take many forms, but the best kinds aren’t physical. They’re felt, learned, shared, and heard.

Her legacy lives on through the admirable qualities she had as a person. I hope to be as savvy, as joyful, as giving, as loving, and as brave as she. I hope that I can light up a room as quickly as she did when entering. I hope to be remembered for my laugh knowing it made people’s day just hearing the sound of my presence. I hope that I can do all of her family recipes justice as she’s one of the reasons I love to bake so much in the first place.

Her enormous love for Christmas has already passed on to both her children, my brother, and I. I smile knowing that many of our beloved Christmas traditions won’t end with her or us. The love we have for this time of year started with her and will live on for generations. Her legacy is woven together from many wonderful pieces all existing solely because of her love for life and all its blessings. A love that went beyond what was expected and extended to all that she was able to bless.

Love is how I remember her most. The way she loved, how much she loved, who she loved, what she loved. She was in many ways more like a second mom to me. I feel eternally grateful to have had such a close relationship with her. Not everyone can say they are so close to their grandparents. Her and I were extremely close and talked often. When I was pregnant, we talked almost daily, if not more than once a day.

She was always reassuring that the Good Lord had the best plan for all of us. She shared His love often and I always felt she was absolutely right. Crazy enough, the Good Lord called her home on my husband and I’s wedding anniversary. We had plans to celebrate and the day started out so joyous. When the call came that she had passed, my first reaction was shock. I called my husband and every sad emotion quickly began to flood my body. I didn’t know what to do or how to feel. At first, I was really sad knowing that I would share this day with my wedding anniversary. That every anniversary from now on would be filled with both joy and sadness. I have now found peace and comfort with this reality.

I somehow find it very fitting that she passed on such a day. Our wedding day was absolutely gorgeous. The weather was spectacular. The skies were clear and the sun was out shining brightly. We were surrounded by family, friends, love, laughter, and so much joy. She was so proud and happy for us. We both felt her love that day. When she passed on Thursday, the weather was exactly the same as our wedding day. Bright, beautiful, and clear. The sun was out, the birds were chirping, and love filled the air. Even in mourning her, we were all surrounded by her love. Love that she passed on to all of us by extension of the love she always showed us.

I am happy to know that she passed on a day that represents so much happiness and love because that’s exactly who she was. She was most deserving of such a glorious day to enter into heaven. I share a day with her that holds so much meaning as she will always mean so much to me.

What a lovely reminder from God that love exists all around us even in death. That legacy is love and what a legacy she has left for us. I am more blessed than I can express thanks for. Granny, your legacy of love lives on.

Friends, in closing to this dedication post to her, I leave you with this advice. Love your people big. Make sure their legacy lives on and so does yours. Tell them you love them as often as possible. Call them, don’t text. Hear their voice. Have a conversation that lasts longer than planned. Share old stories, laugh until your belly hurts, make plans to see one another in person. Especially family. I wish I could spend another day with her laughing endlessly reminiscing about everything and nothing at all.

Love more than you have to and live life to the fullest in every way you can. And one last side note that’s actually very important yet so simple. Take the pictures. Please. It will be one of the very first things the people you love search for and cling to for comfort when you’re gone. Snap the picture. It doesn’t have to be perfect or planned or staged. It doesn’t have to be professionally taken. Just take it. For you, for them, for everyone.

This photo of us with her is so special. We found it as we were looking for pictures to display during her service. It wasn’t planned, it wasn’t perfect, but it was our relationship in photo form. It is her love, her personality, her spirit captured beautifully in a random photo someone took spontaneously just because. And it means everything to us. Especially now.

Every photo we went through told the story of her life, her love, and her legacy. I feel that because of all the photos she took, I was able to get to know her in ways I never had before. I saw her childhood, her young adulthood, and her life as a mom, grandmother, and great-grandmother. Each photo was equally as special and meaningful as the previous. She left an entire legacy of love in photo form for every generation after her to appreciate. I could not be more thankful. Take the photo. It’s such an easy way for someone’s legacy to live on. 

The image above is what inspired this whole post. Correction: You, granny, inspired this post. Your love, your legacy, and everything you’ve ever meant to me. To our entire family, really. We love you and miss you terribly.